I replied to 'B' in a letter, but I will extract the essence of this letter here, as this is a wonderfully learning situation. For 'B', it all seems like it is all starting to fall into place, though this may be difficult for her to fully 'Grok'. This is because it is not in place yet, but 'falling into'. The intensity of her experience equates with the intention of a practitioner. My first hunch is that she is not a messiah or savior, but simply a strong shamanic practitioner. Yes, all of this psychic stuff will open up, and no matter, because things will fall into place. However, the falling can be unnerving and is in any event, disruptive and life-altering.
The mess she speaks of is normal and the urge to drink or in other ways run away is also normal, because the natural and instinctive reaction is to cover a breakthrough over so we won't have to face it. The change is as much one of self-identity as it is of anything else, and that cuts to the core of any human being. The body/mind will naturally revolt. It is deeply discomforting.
Her situation is wonderfully challenging because knowing her, I also know she already knows many things in the shamanic world, having experienced them or by having simply a latent ability. By this, I mean a special ability, though to make certain she doesn't get too fat of a head about it, she is by no means unique in this. There are many practitioners throughout the world who I would recommend that clients go to visit. These are people, who like her, have stepped up to the challenges that nonordinary perception brings, and are willing to become what this means. The hardest thing for a teacher to do with a student like this is to keep them contained enough so that they simply follow the protocols and despite their natural fluency, practice good, strong ways of practicing. I must be a little more 'containing' with such students simply because of their natural ability – and inclination – to do what comes naturally.
She hates it when I tell her that she has a strong ability, but I say it anyway. Let’s not call it 'special' if she prefers, but it is natural, nonetheless. So, she gets concerned about having not one power animal, but many. This, 'B', can hardly be called a problem!
However, I would ease off journeying so often as she does. Her growth and changes might be easier to handle if she limits journeying to once a day... tops, and only for straightforward, directed, intentional purposes, such as to learn something in particular, to go to a particular spirit helper for advice or relationship-building, or to do some particular work for a client. I do not want her to burn out just because she has a strong flame: much rather do I want to cull forward - on a firm foundation - the natural ability that she has.
The self-questioning goes with her intense demand for always putting forward her personal best. She may yet have this drive for awhile longer. If you relate to this, sorry to say, but this is a character trait, not that it is a bad one. It's just a demanding one. She will likely relax this trait but only to the degree that she has gathered experiential confidence in what she has incorporated. She will never let herself feel satisfied unless she does her best. And this is good. This is what we want when we visit a shamanic practitioner. Yes, she knows a lot, and yet with respect to incorporating it within an overall shamanic schema, she is still a ‘babe’. We are always new to things, that is, we always are when we are truly at our best. The fresh ‘now is all there is’ will hopefully always be there, even as our experiences and knowledge continues to mature. Thank goodness for this.
She is starting to ‘come out of the closet’ – perhaps not with her ordinary reality colleagues and others, but with herself. This is probably much of what has factored into this huge 'letting go and release' that followed her recent journeys to her true self. It is a powerful adjustment because it challenges all our identity terra firma, even when we are, quite comfortable and familiar with the shamanic ‘terra un-firma’.
Also, just as a buoyant object beneath the surface of water is compelled to reach the surface, a person’s true identity needs to return, and once unconstrained, is unforgiving in its desire to do so. This is not a bad thing, but can be tremendously unsettling. That’s what happens when something out of balance goes back into balance. There is a necessary shuffling in the foundation. A lot of this goes on in the first level of training.
Yes, there are support groups, but not like “Hi, my name is B. and I'm a shamanic practitioner,’" but rather things like drum circles and other shamanic circles who meet to do journeying together. She once asked me about this, and my only suggestion at the time was that if she does so, to try to have some education under her belt so that she can sort out what is good practice from that which is misinformed. We want to incorporate and instill good, solid protocols from the very beginning of our studies. She can likely find some strong practitioners by going to different websites that have spun out of core shamanic practice, such as that of Sandra Ingerman (who brings her Medicine for the Earth practices in), Michael Harner, or Carol Proudfoot-Edgar (who also brings in her Native Californian wisdom). There are many others who are in a league with these three, but these are the initial ones who come to mind. There is a big mixed bag out there regarding individuals and their practices beyond these immediate three, both excellent and not, and so my advice is for everyone to be carefully selective.
Her urge to run away from the practice is very normal, and in fact, a common occurrence that has been kicked around throughout history when those newly facing the practice are well known to have only gone to it ‘kicking and screaming’, and who would rather be simply a hunter, basket-weaver, or in the more recent eons, any number of careers that somehow might feel more normal... rather, than be something like a shamanic practitioner. The fact that shamans have persisted throughout history and across the globe testifies to the necessity of going through such a challenge if it arises. Or rather, when it arises, for it does. It is nice to know that we can go through it.
This student is, I believe, precisely where she should be in her training. I can be wrong, so I always urge anyone who listens to me to follow their gut instincts more than anything else, as they are usually correct. Nevertheless, I smilingly believe I am right in this particular case. She is doing well, and she is 'kicking and screaming' as the unfortunates have throughout history when faced with the prospect of shamanic practice as a LifeWay, and I am very pleased.